Soooooooooooo...

Alright so. Guess what? IM DEAD!
I know right? Me. Claudius. Dead.

Well I'll tell you what happened. Everything that I had planned backfired on me. Everything. The poisioned wine? Gertrude drank it and Hamlet forced me to drink it. The poisioned foil? Hamlet used it to kill Laertes and me before he died. Everything that could go wrong, went wrong. The only one left standing was Horatio, and he almost killed himself too! Wow. What a night. You should have been there.

Oh but something good came out of this night. Guess who I met in Hell? POLONIUS!! I know amazing right? We're still tight to this day. And we're going to be raising hell in Hell!

So for the last time ever,
Deuces Blog!

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

FIGHT!

Ok so we're taking Ophelia's body out to her grave and Laertes jumps down into her grave, wanting to be buried alive with her. And out of no where, here comes Hamlet. He jumps down and says how he loved Ophelia more than Laertes x40,000. Well Laertes didn't like it, so they start to fight IN THE GRAVE! MAN! What a fight. Gertrude is screaming, dirt is flying up from the grave, people are trying to pull them apart. It was niiiiiiiiice. Then when they we're finally broken apart, Hamlet pretty much says that he would go to hell and back for Ophelia. It got Laertes pissed. So now I'm waiting for a good fencing fight! I can't wait!

Deuces!

Meet me in the Fencing hall, its going down.

OH SNAP! It's goin down! Hamlet and Laertes are going to fence to the death! Only Hamlet doesn't know its to the death. Let me explain. After Laertes barged in, we smoothed things out. We're cool now. And now that Hamlet is coming back because he was captured by pirates, we're going to kill him our selfs.

Laertes is going to challenge Hamlet to a fencing match, and Hamlet being completely oblivious, will not check the swords. Well, we're going to poison Laertes sword and he's going to "accidently" cut Hamlet with his sword. If this fails we're going to have a goblet with poisioned water in it. Hamlet will get awfully thirsty fencing, so if he needs a drink, I'll be right there with the poision. Oh MAN, I cant wait!

Deuces blog!

Just...Ugh.

Ugh. My whole life is going down the tube. I don't know how it got this way. First it starts with Hamlet going bonkers, then the play, and now Polonius is dead. I don't know what to do. I can't punish Hamlet by sending him to jail, the people love him. There would be a riot if I did send him. I'm sending him to England for sure now. And the English king better kill him as I instructed. If not there will be hell to pay. Denmark has kicked their ass in the past and we will do it again if we have to.

Now on to the matter of Ophelia. It seems that seeing the dead body of Polonius has drove her mad. She now sings the most random things, and will not cooperate with anyone. I now fear for her life and the safety of the ones around her. Her brother is on his way from Paris as I speak, and he's probably going to raise hell. Ugh, here they come. The commoners calling for Laerties to be king and off with my head, Yada yada yada. I'll ttyl blog.

Deuces.